& just like that the six weeks were over..

I actually cannot believe how quick they went. I don’t want them to go back to school, i feel like they haven’t been off long enough. Don’t get me wrong, not all days have been great but they haven’t been god awful either.

Maybe it helped because we had two weeks in Spain so it kind of broke them up a bit? I must admit though, the kids have had enough of each other now. They’re used to their routine and having their days apart.

Kellan is so excited about going back into year two, i can’t quite believe he is in year 2 already. It only feels like yesterday i wrote my blog about him starting in reception. I’ve laid his uniform out, his PE bag and school bag are by the door and his lunchbox is packed. I wish i had his excitement, but i don’t. I feel sad, anxious and feel like i’ve lost him that little bit more as he has grown up. That’s what scares me, I feel like he is slipping through my fingers. Dramatic too much? or do people feel like that aswell?

Then, to top it off, Grayson starts reception on Friday. Both of them at full time school. I don’t think my heart will cope. My little dudes both at school.

It was cute, they both chose their own shoes at Clarkes, Kellan’s i’m not to keen on but I had to let it go, he is old enough and entitled to choose his own shoes, but AGAIN, it’s another sign that he is growing up.


anyway, good luck to your new starters/returnees this week. We can get through it xx

Turning 30.

Hey everyone!

First question, how have you found the six weeks holidays? not going to lie, i’ve had days where i have struggled to entertain the little monkeys but i am so sad that they’re going back to school, and also that my youngest baby is starting big school on Friday.

What have you been upto? let me know!


Okay, so on Friday i turned the big, dirty thirty. Not going to lie, i wasn’t looking forward to it at all. The thought of turning thirty was so daunting. I am the last out of most of my friends to turn thirty so that made me feel a bit better.

Anyway, i woke Friday and felt okay, i could do this. It’s only a number right? i big bloody number at that, but just a number. Dan had arranged a surprise family day out which i asked for so i was really looking forward to that. The kids wanted me to open my presents that i had sent Dan out to let them choose anything they wanted, and to be honest as much as Dan was a bit reluctant he really enjoyed it and the kids did really well with their present choices!

So yea, we went for our family day out which was lovely. We went to Maldon Promenade Park, it was a fun day!

Then yesterday (31.08) it was also our first wedding anniversary, i can’t get over how quick that has gone either. But, another surprise was arranged. He arranged for us to go to Mad Hatters Tea Room, Southend (i didn’t have a clue until i walked through the door and our friends and family were there shouting surprise) i was so overwhelmed that i cried. Full on cried.

Now, I woke very emotional yesterday. I’m not sure if it was the realisation of being thirty, the thought that it was over or the pregnancy hormones. But i sobbed quite alot that day, and over the silliest things tbh. My youngest brother told me he was coming over in the morning, well he got caught up and was on birthday surprise #2 mission balloons that he didn’t come over. So i cried in my shower. Like a brat, because he didn’t come to see me. It didn’t help that my mum and dad were in Spain and for some reason, i was so adamant that they were going to surprise me by flying home early to see me. I was just a bit all over the place to be honest.

So yea, apart from some meltdowns throughout the day of me being 30 and 1 day, i wanted to know how you all reacted to turning thirty? did you get emotional? or did you just sail through it like a breeze.

Let me know, i would love to hear if it was just me that was a wet flannel.

Hope you are all okay xx





Hello.. it’s me


I am sorry I’ve been quiet and non existent. I’ve been on a sabbatical, focusing more on work, being a mum and following a dream of writing a book.

I am currently on my fourth book, hoping to have it finished before November if my brain lets me and my creative juices keep flowing! I wrote my first book and self published it last May which has been amazing, I then went on to finish the series with the third book being released earlier this year.

I’m not sure what type of genre the book falls under but it’s a rom/com with some angst, sex, quite a bit of sex tbh (sorry mum) and some drama as the series unfolds because, come on, who doesn’t love a bit of drama!? i wouldn’t say fifty shades level, but not this man level either. Somewhere slotted in-between.

I’m currently sitting round the pool in Spain at my mums. We’re having a nice chilled two week holiday, the last holiday of the year.

I was planning on being out here for most of the six weeks;

1. Because it’s easier here than at home

2. The kids are happier than when in England

3. It would be our first wedding anniversary 31st August and seeing as we got married here it just made sense to see our anniversary in here too.

4. Also, it’ll be my 30th out here the day before our anniversary. So why not go out and have a massive month long celebration!?

But, a little something came up that stopped them plans.

A little something called a baby.

We had been toying with a third for a while, but we just wasn’t sure. Grayson would be starting school this sept, Kellan is well into his school years and I could have gone back to work. (And tbh, the kids were so easy now. They slept through, they played independently, I could have a hangover and still parent as I felt they weren’t so dependant on me).

Me and Dan sat and had a chat one weekend in March after being on a weekend away with my friends. We said we would give it till my 30th and if I hadn’t fallen then we would leave it and just accept that two boys were more than enough and how blessed we were to have conceived and carried two babies. But, this little one had different plans. I found out the weekend after our chat that I was pregnant. It was a shock but not a surprise because deep down we both wanted it but didn’t want to commit to both agreeing to ‘try’.

We have 12 weeks left; 12 weeks till my planned section and it’s going way too fast for my liking. The first 15 weeks were hell, I was nauseous all the time, went off meat completely and trying to do the school run while thinking the whole time to myself ‘please don’t be sick please don’t be sick’. I was exhausted constantly, trying to keep two humans alive and grow a baby was hard work. My evenings were spent moaning to dan about how rough I felt or how tired I was. Luckily I wasn’t sick, not even once but my god I felt horrendous. I’m still not back on red meat, the thought makes my stomach turn. I’m hoping it comes back once little miss is here but I’m scared it won’t!

I’ve had odd cravings with this one, sniffing mustard (have refrained from this since Dan walked in and looked at me in full sniff, resulting in me burning both nostrils pretty bloody bad), strawberries, cheese, all the cheese, piccalilli and beer. What a combo for terrible heartburn.

I am sorry I have been so crap at blogging lately but I’ve been so busy with my writing and growing a human that blogging unfortunately has been in the bottom of my list.

I hope you have all been okay, I promise I’m back 🤪

If you want to take a look at my books they’re on amazon, or you can follow my FB / Instagram page;



Speak soon xx